Group Discussion Guide
Stand Alone Message
GETTING STARTED
Begin your time together by catching up with one another. Take a few moments to share how you have seen God at work in your lives, your families, or your group: “How have you seen God in your life since we last met?”
Scripture References from Message: Ephesians 4:20–27, Psalm 4:4–8
Big Idea: Don’t give control to the thing that you can control.
Begin your time together by catching up with one another. Take a few moments to share how you have seen God at work in your lives, your families, or your group: “How have you seen God in your life since we last met?”
Scripture References from Message: Ephesians 4:20–27, Psalm 4:4–8
Big Idea: Don’t give control to the thing that you can control.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Use these questions to talk through the message together.
Use these questions to talk through the message together.
- Following Jesus involves more than what we believe or the actions other people can see; it includes learning what to do with the things we feel. Anger may be the example Paul uses, but fear, frustration, jealousy, shame, pride, or other emotions can become just as powerful. What emotions or feelings are most likely to demand your attention when life doesn’t go the way you hoped? What helps you recognize what is happening before that feeling begins determining how you respond?
- Brad made an important distinction between feeling an emotion and giving that emotion control. Psalm 4 doesn’t tell us to pretend we aren’t angry or affected by what has happened. Instead, it calls us to feel the weight of it without allowing it to drive us toward choices that damage our relationship with God or others. What do you think is the difference between honestly acknowledging an emotion and allowing it to control you? What are some signs that a feeling has begun influencing us more than it should?
- Brad described three ways Psalm 4 helps us refocus when our feelings threaten to take control: refocus on right relationship with God, refocus on what is real and true, and refocus on living with peace. Which of those three feels most helpful to you right now? What could practicing it look like in an ordinary stressful moment this week?
GOING DEEPER
For groups who want to dig further into the scripture or topic.
For groups who want to dig further into the scripture or topic.
- Read Ephesians 4:20–27 together. Paul talks about putting on the “new self” in the larger context of learning to live in unity with one another. Our emotions may begin within us, but what we do with them affects the people around us. How does that context change the way you understand Paul’s instruction to “be angry and do not sin”? Why does the way we handle our emotions matter to the unity of God’s people?
- Read Psalm 4:4–8 together. David appears to be dealing with people who have wronged and misrepresented him, yet the Psalm moves from agitation to trust, gratitude, and finally the ability to lie down in peace, even though the circumstances themselves have not necessarily changed. What does this teach us about the kind of peace God offers? How is surrendering a situation to God different from denying what happened, excusing someone’s behavior, or simply becoming passive?
WEEKLY CHALLENGE
This week, pay attention to one emotion or feeling that has a tendency to take more control than you want it to. When you notice it rising, don’t ignore it or pretend it isn’t there. Pause long enough to name what you are feeling, and then intentionally refocus.
Refocus on your relationship with God: keep walking toward Him instead of allowing the feeling to pull you away.
Refocus on what is real: remind yourself of what is true about God, about who you are in Christ, and about what you can genuinely be grateful for in that moment.
Refocus on peace: surrender the person, circumstance, outcome, and even the emotion itself to God rather than carrying the weight of something you cannot control.
At the end of the week, reflect on what changed when you allowed God—not the feeling of the moment—to determine
your response.
This week, pay attention to one emotion or feeling that has a tendency to take more control than you want it to. When you notice it rising, don’t ignore it or pretend it isn’t there. Pause long enough to name what you are feeling, and then intentionally refocus.
Refocus on your relationship with God: keep walking toward Him instead of allowing the feeling to pull you away.
Refocus on what is real: remind yourself of what is true about God, about who you are in Christ, and about what you can genuinely be grateful for in that moment.
Refocus on peace: surrender the person, circumstance, outcome, and even the emotion itself to God rather than carrying the weight of something you cannot control.
At the end of the week, reflect on what changed when you allowed God—not the feeling of the moment—to determine
your response.